Offering individual, couples, family and group therapy in-office and online.
Approved to practice telehealth under PSYPACT and with NY State Residents.
Approved to practice telehealth under PSYPACT and with NY State Residents.
Do you find yourself questioning…
Whether your partner has recently turned away, seeking connection elsewhere.
Your own sanity when they deny infidelity despite evidence to the contrary.
Whether to blame them for the hurt or yourself for staying.
If the shame, betrayal, and vulnerability are too heavy to bear.
Whether you and your partner ever move past the affair to rebuild love and safety.
These are common and deeply challenging questions faced by those dealing with betrayal. Right now, they feel unbearable. But what if, step by step, you could move from confusion to clarity, from pain to healing?
Navigating through such emotional turmoil requires patience, understanding, and, often, professional guidance.
When the person we hold closest turns away, seeking solace or excitement elsewhere, the ground beneath us quakes. Doubts creep in: Is it their transgression that wounds us deeper, or our choice to remain amidst the shards of broken trust?
This storm of vulnerability, hurt, shame, and betrayal may feel insurmountable. Yet, the question lingers—can we, together, traverse this tempest and rediscover a haven of safety and connection?
Approximately one in two couples will confront a sexual betrayal, with both men and women stepping beyond the bounds of monogamy as we know it.
In today’s climate, where endless stimulation beckons, and there is an ever-expanding opportunity available in media—the allure of the forbidden becomes ever more enticing and temptation is only a click away. Affairs, addictions, and digital dalliances are woven into the fabric of our contemporary existence. The definitions of betrayal are as varied as the individuals who experience them: there is no universal definition of infidelity. Nor is there a universal definition of pain and heartbreak. What one perceives as a breach, another might overlook. Yet, at its core, betrayal signifies a rupture—a violation of the delicate bond that unites two souls.
Infidelity wears many masks. Sexual infidelity might include but is not limited to sexting and online flirtations, viewing online pornography, secret activity on a dating or extramarital affair app, a massage with a happy ending, and sex with someone outside the couple-ship. But beyond the physical, betrayals manifest as secrets veiled in addictions or compulsions or concealed financial dealings. Each act of secrecy chips away at the foundation of trust, leaving both partners adrift in a sea of uncertainty. Just as trust can be broken, it can also be rebuilt.
“When we seek the gaze of another it isn’t always our partner we are turning away from but the person, we ourselves have become.”
What if this rupture, painful as it is, becomes a turning point—a moment where everything changes for the better?
Renowned psychotherapist Esther Perel describes infidelity as a crisis of identity—a quest to reclaim lost parts of ourselves and reignite a sense of aliveness. Such betrayals challenge our very essence, prompting introspection not just about our bond with our partner but about who we are at our core. As Perel insightfully notes, “An affair simply alerts us to a preexisting condition, either a troubled relationship or a troubled person.”
Often, it serves as a catalyst—a wake-up call signaling the end of what was and the potential of what could be. This crisis, while excruciating, offers an opportunity for transformation. For healing to commence, both partners must confront the legacy of the affair, delving deep into understanding and processing the pain. It’s a journey of moving beyond mere survival, aiming to craft a renewed narrative rooted in healing and mutual growth.
Fear often stands as a formidable barrier to healing. The apprehension that full disclosure might lead to abandonment can stifle open communication. Promises to change, repeatedly broken, erode hope and trust. Feelings of embarrassment or shame, primarily upon realizing the extent of the betrayal, can paralyze progress. Yet, confronting these emotions head-on, with compassion and support, paves the way for reclaiming one’s sense of self and forging a healthier relational dynamic.
Truth often emerges in fragments, with each revelation potentially retraumatizing the betrayed partner. A structured approach, known as formal or therapeutic disclosure, facilitates healing by ensuring transparency in a controlled, supportive environment. This isn’t a forced or rushed confession. It’s a deliberate, supported process toward rebuilding trust that requires meticulous preparation, guided by trained and experienced professionals, to prevent further harm and lay the groundwork for genuine recovery.
When one partner turns away in a relationship, they will often turn towards something or someone else. Sometimes, that turn towards addictive behaviors—compulsions that persist despite their destructive impact.
Whether it’s an affair, out of control sexual behavior, digital dependencies, or substance abuse, these behaviors inflict profound betrayal trauma on the partner. The ensuing emotional turmoil mirrors post-traumatic stress, with symptoms like anxiety, depression, and obsessive thoughts. Healing necessitates addressing both the addiction and the deep wounds inflicted upon the partner.
For the betrayed partner, this feels just like any other kind of infidelity—a breach of trust, a secret life, a source of deep emotional pain.
No matter how profound the pain of betrayal, there lies a path to healing. Rebuilding trust requires transparency, consistency, empathy, and professional guidance.
It also requires patience—to move through the stages of shock and disbelief, anger and blame, sadness and despair to acceptance and rebuilding.
With my extensive experience and expertise in sexology, addiction recovery, trauma healing, and mindfulness practices, I stand ready to guide you through this tumultuous journey. Together, we can navigate the labyrinth of hurt, rediscover trust, and co-create a renewed intimate bond.
Whether you want to heal alone or rebuild your relationship, there’s a path forward. Schedule your complimentary 15-minute consultation today and take the first step toward clarity, healing, and peace.