For most of us it is easy to go through your day, start to finish, on autopilot. There is alot to accomplish-between work, kids, parents, pets and household matters . . . it can be quite consuming. In the midst of things, staying connected to your partner/spouse is vital to keep the core temperature of the relationship stable.
Periodic Reconnections, as I refer to them, are tantamount to the maintenance of the connection. A text ‘hello’ or’ I love you’ or yes even ‘thinking about how hot you are’ can be quite the connection and the flirt as well. Sexting is great within the bounds of an intimate relationship. Animated emoticons are my personal favorite, and lately, photos taken. A picture tells a thousand words!
A few days ago my 14 year old was home sick. Knowing I had (not well) hidden some chocolate treats yet full well knowing that they were off limits, I received a photo of him smiling as he was opening the jar of treats with a “well . . hello!”. I have to admit-it made me smile.
Yet despite the need for these ‘reconnections’, we tell too much.
With all of the attachments to wires, phones, computers and communication devices, there is an endless accessibility to relate. By the time most couples (and families) reunite at the end of the day, or whenever they get back together, they have told all. He/she knows how many dirty diapers there have been that day or every nuance of what little Johnny did on the playground.
For years I have had couples tell me that when they reconnect at the end of the day they are typically in separate rooms doing separate activities. While that is commonplace today and there is room for that, there is no, if any, face to face time which is the critical element that builds the connection.
Years ago I began telling couples, stay connected but don’t tell all. Keep it short, sweet, vague and if you have to recite a monumental event, at least save the details for later! There is nothing like face to face contact that builds the connection. And don’t forget the eye contact as well!